The Nut Job

So it is Saturday night and I don't really feel like going out, but I have a 10:00 pick-up, so I just hang around the house until it gets close to time. So around 9:20, I leave out to go and gas up to pick up my customer. I get to the gas station and what appears to be a homeless man coming around the corner. He screams he has $50.00 and I should take him with me. He laughs and walks over to the pump. He says "my name is Joe, now you know me and you can take me with you". I said " I don't know you," He said "I said my name is Joe Miller, so you do know me". I said "I know your name, but I don't know you". He says "I am famous in DC and VA" I say " for what". He stopped and stared at and I repeated what I said " What are you famous for, you could be a rapist".

He said "that is how woman like it, they want to be raped," his voice starts to escalate and I am still pumping gas "THAT'S HOW THEY WANT IT, THEY WANT TO BE RAPED BY JOE MILLER." I hang the pump up and put the gas cap on. I open the car door and get in and before I close the door he throws his head in the door and screams "I CAN SEE YOUR TITTIES", and softly says "Can I touch them". I get immediately agitated because my night with the crazies hasn't even begun, I am just gassin up. So my voice escalates " You better get the fuck away from my car," He paused and looked very surprised, I wonder what he was thinkin? It took him like 5 secs but he eased back and I closed my door. He was standing outside saying something, I just pulled off.

I mean the night hadn't even started yet DAMN! The night ended with one of my passengers clutchin his chest with heart burn, throwing up outside my car and thanking me for picking him up.