Now You Can't Get a Cab

So I pull up to the station and one regular Hispanic rider and his friend are waiting. They come to the cab and get in bitchin that they can't get a cab and the new independent drivers won't pick them up!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS!! Are they stealin the black mans plight?!

The Tipper

It was another nice night and not much action. I was on the phone and someone got in the back of my car. I look back and his eyes were bloodshot and was drunk as shit. He told me the station manager would not let him ride the train, but he needed to get home or to as least Addison Road where there were no metro police. He asked me how much, i said probably about $15.00. He said he didn't have that much, so I said "you short then, you need to find another way. He said he had $10.00 I told him that wasn't enough, that wouldn't even cover gas, he was I love you baby passin in and out of his drunkenness. So we argue and he is about to get out and I wave a guy who is waiting over to get in the car.

The drunk guy gets out and leaves the door open and the other guy comes around the other side to get in. The drunk guys talks to him a but and they both get back in. I asked sober guy does he got him and he hands me some money. So I pull off and ask them where they are going. The sober guy was going to Palmer Park and the drunk was going to Addison Road. The Drunk guy was in the back shaken his head back and forth real hard to the music, I mean if he hit the glass he would have been unconscious askin me can I turn it up and just actin crazy, so we get close the to the sober guys house and he says, you can take him first. He probably new something was up with the guy, later in the ride he even reached through the glass and rubbed my shoulder.

Anyway we get to Addison road I drop him off and start back towards the nice guys house. He ask me how much it would be and I said I wouldn't charge him anything extra, cause he gave me the $20.00 bill up front. I drop him off and that was that. I went to the gas station and pulled the money out, why did the guy give me a $50.00 bill, WTF. I felt terrible because I didn't look at the bill when he gave it to me I knew it wasn't a 5.00 or a 10.00 bill. So I got gas and stopped for food (because that is important - cause this ass needs more fat (sarcasm)). I went back to the guys house to give him $30.00 back. After the hell of getting him out, he came out and I explained that I didn't realize he had given me a $50.00. He says oh I don't mind tippin, I looked at and said " that was a big tip" and gave him the $30.00 and started to walk away he said at least keep $10.00".

He was a really nice guy, some poor woman is abusing the shit out his ass! I just hope it wasn't that loud mouth bitch that came to the door, he can do so much better.

The Trunk

So Monday night was beautiful, one of the few nice days since spring has begun. It was really slow, so I was sitting at the station and the cab driver in front of me pops his trunk and gets in. he was looking through some things, but just sitting there, (just like the picture above, but turned to the side). Several trains pulled in and he never attempted to get out, just in case a customer came up (he was the first driver on the stand-a customer would come to him first).

I just went home.

O She Got Issues!

So I am on the way to pick up one of my regulars from his second job, but I had a little time to kill. So it is the first warm day of spring and everybody is out enjoying the night. I am sitting at the light and I get flagged down by a lady. I tell her that I am in route to pick up someone and she says "please we have been waiting here for an hour". I look and she has an infant on her shoulder and the other girl has two small children in a stroller they look around 2 years old, so I pull over, trying to be nice.

The lady opens the front door and puts her wrap around scarf and a folder on the front seat. So I pop the trunk so they can put the stroller in. So I hear the younger girl scream "Do you want me or not" to the top of her lungs, this didn't bother me cause I have been driving for a while now, and I am so desensitized now that I can ignore it.

So they are taking their time, I am like "you need to come on, I have a pick up and you are asking me to go across town, you need to hurry up". So the two little kids get in the back seat, so their momma is still taking her time and she has the door open and one foot in, still yelling on her cellphone. So the older lady walks over and says "look we have to go she is pressed for time", and takes her cellphone. She starts banging on the back of the glass screaming "I can't take this, I don't understand why everyone wants to break up", so she jumps out of the car and says, "I don't care what you do to me this time, I am gone" , and walks off leaving all the kids. So the lady is standing there with an infant and the two little kids in the back. She looks at me and I look her and say "I got to go...you need to get them or they will be on this corner". So she gets the kids and the stroller and almost leaves her things in the front seat.

I thought to myself the first sign was this bitch yelling outside the car that something was wrong, in retrospect it was the envelope the lady laid on the front seat, this lady wasn't this girls sister or mother, she was social worker, or some kind of mental counselor.

If you are wondering I was on time to get my customer.

The Nut Job

So it is Saturday night and I don't really feel like going out, but I have a 10:00 pick-up, so I just hang around the house until it gets close to time. So around 9:20, I leave out to go and gas up to pick up my customer. I get to the gas station and what appears to be a homeless man coming around the corner. He screams he has $50.00 and I should take him with me. He laughs and walks over to the pump. He says "my name is Joe, now you know me and you can take me with you". I said " I don't know you," He said "I said my name is Joe Miller, so you do know me". I said "I know your name, but I don't know you". He says "I am famous in DC and VA" I say " for what". He stopped and stared at and I repeated what I said " What are you famous for, you could be a rapist".

He said "that is how woman like it, they want to be raped," his voice starts to escalate and I am still pumping gas "THAT'S HOW THEY WANT IT, THEY WANT TO BE RAPED BY JOE MILLER." I hang the pump up and put the gas cap on. I open the car door and get in and before I close the door he throws his head in the door and screams "I CAN SEE YOUR TITTIES", and softly says "Can I touch them". I get immediately agitated because my night with the crazies hasn't even begun, I am just gassin up. So my voice escalates " You better get the fuck away from my car," He paused and looked very surprised, I wonder what he was thinkin? It took him like 5 secs but he eased back and I closed my door. He was standing outside saying something, I just pulled off.

I mean the night hadn't even started yet DAMN! The night ended with one of my passengers clutchin his chest with heart burn, throwing up outside my car and thanking me for picking him up.

The Prostitute

So of course it is Friday, and I am filling my tank to get ready for the night. So a young girl walks up and asks me if I am working, I tell her "yes, where do you need to go", so about 3 guys walk over and they want to only go around the corner, to the strip club, so I say okay, we get there and they can barely pay their cab fare. So the guy comes over and says to the girl that got them the ride, you know you can't come in so, just go home and I will come and see you later.


So she gets a little upset and he looks at me and says, “I don't have the money right now to give you to take her back, but give her your number and I will call you later and pay you.” I pause for a second, cause I don't have time for these games, but I still didn't want to leave her sitting outside the club. So I just said okay and took her back, it was only two blocks up.

So I said why couldn't you get in. She says well there was an incident. So I didn't inquire further, so I said why would they bring you here and then not take you in, she said well he is a pimp so he has to come here to regulate the girls. I said how is he a pimp with no money. Then I was like who in the hell needs a pimp in 2011. I mean with the Internet/cellphones isn't that like the death of the pimp?! you can set your own appointments rates, advertise, set security and privacy accordingly.

As I rambled on, I heard nothing but crickets, so I look over for some feedback andI saw the look of sadness in her eye, I didn't realize she was a prostitute, I just didn't realize before. I should have reiterated we all are grabbing our ankles (whoring ourselves) when we go to work each day, we are no different than she...it is called life.

I gave her my number like she asked and I dropped her at the McDonald's so she could eat and left.

Girl Power

So I haven't been picking up off the radio lately cause too much is happening behind the mic between the cabbies and dispatch and I am tired of hearing the arguments. So this particular night, it is slow at the station so I decide to work the radio.

I pull up in front of the house and have dispatch call her out, she comes out and her shoes are on the porch so she puts them on, then I see her start to do this little dance while coming to the car and it was her and two other guys that followed, she got in the car was so excited that I was a female cab driver. She made up a little jingle for me because I was a female cab driver (it had lyrics a tune, it was too much), I mean she was really excited, once I dropped them, she was like "GIRL POWER alright" (like Adam when he drew his sword to turn into He-Man) , "we can do it all!" I am a tad broken after this trip so I go on back to the station.

My next fare is two women they were also very excited about me driving and they have never seen a woman driving a cab before. Let me just clear something up ladies, this is not good, It is like being excited that the prison population went from being mostly men to 50% women. I make less than I would be if I were whoring myself, which pisses me off, one of my passengers was a prostitute (will post about her later), but she just made $200.00 in less than 30 minutes to piss on someone. I would have high-fived her if I wasn't scared to touch her. My point is this is not a step up, we don't want to be here.

I could have been an heiress if it weren't for my broke ass parents!